thePeanutBloggery

All the network executives are sitting around this week scratching their heads, perplexed as to why their new shows’ ratings are so low. Well, beyond the obvious reason of increased use of DVR’s and downloading, there’s another really good explanation: the shows just aren’t very good. Last year we were blessed with so many great new series – “Heroes”, “Ugly Betty”, “30 Rock”, etc. – that I became convinced television as an art was moving forward, but it seems last year’s surfeit was an anomaly. To be fair, I have liked some of the new shows, and a few haven’t yet aired, but if the list below is an indication of the overall trend of television, I might actually spend some nights out reconnecting with friends this fall.

Aliens in America (CW) - Ultimately this show feels like propaganda. “Oh, you closed-minded Americans with your fear of dirty bombs and Anthrax, the truth is Middle Eastern kids are just like your kids. No, they’re better. Even if they do dress and pray funny. Ha ha.” It’s not unlike when Mr. Drummond brought that wacky Arnold home. Score: 4

The Big Bang Theory (CBS) – The odd thing about this show is it either hits, and I actually laugh out loud (rare for me), or it completely misses, and I end up feeling kind of embarrassed for them. If the writers stop trying to cram so many jokes into each scene, they might have something, because I actually like the characters. Of course I’m a sucker for Star Wars and superhero humor. Last Week’s Score: 5. Score: 6

Chuck (NBC) – Chuck, you’re very clever, trying to win us over with talk of Oceanic Flight 815. Just remember this: we were already hooked on “Lost” when we found out the plot didn’t make any sense. You revealed this about yourself in the first two episodes. Still, increased use of “Firefly’s” Adam Baldwin wins you an extra point this week. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 7

Journeyman (NBC) – This show belongs on CBS on Friday nights. In the tradition of “Early Edition” and “Joan of Arcadia” (yet not nearly as good as either), “Journeyman” is less about time travel and more about human redemption. An inverted It’s a Wonderful Life, our lead is the unwitting angel guided by the fates to right some wrong in the universe. Yet somehow “feel-good” doesn’t work on Mondays. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 6

K-Ville (Fox) – During this week’s episode, a perp refers to our NOPD partners as Crockett and Tubbs. This is supposed to be ironic. Boulet and Cobb are scrappy, certainly not glamorous. Yet this show with its melodrama and its law enforcement clichés feels a lot more like “Miami Vice” – maybe even “CHIPS” – than “NYPD Blue”. First Week’s Score: 6. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 6. Final Total: 19

Cavemen (ABC) – I know you’ve all been asking yourselves since Sunday, what was the other show based on a commercial. It was 2002’s “Baby Bob”, based on the talking six-month-old from the dotcom (and later Quiznos) commercials. It was cancelled after nine episodes. It was better than “Cavemen”. Score: 3

Carpoolers (ABC) – Jerry O’Connell has for years been an inspiration to all men who were once the fat kid in school (although his fat was very different from today’s fat). He got tall, exercised his way into a Chip ‘n Dale body, and married a supermodel/X-Man. Unfortunately his involvement with this dated and somewhat offensive comedy (to use the word lightly) is likely to negate these achievements. Score: 3

Reaper (CW) – I was concerned that without Kevin Smith in the director’s chair, this show might lose some of its edge, but I needn’t have worried. Of course, the newness and wonder of the relationship has faded a bit, so it naturally loses a point this week, but if they can keep it up, I’m certain “Reaper” will have lots of chances to earn 9’s in the future on the Primetime Index. Last Week’s Score: 9. Score: 8

Cane (CBS) – If I get hooked on this show, it’ll like be due to “Lost’s” Nestor Carbonell. There’s something intriguing about him, and I’m not just talking about the natural eyeliner. Still I wouldn’t underestimate the fascination of alligators fighting over a rotting corpse in a Florida swamp. Perhaps this is where people will go from now on for their gangster TV fix. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 8

On Sunday we’ll take a look at the eagerly anticipated “Pushing Daisies”, our last hope for a break-out hit.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.