thePeanutBloggery

After some long, cold months of reruns and reality television, new episodes of scripted shows are starting to trickle back into the schedule. In fact, tonight alone, three shows return, including “Men In Trees”.

Below find a list of return dates for most scripted shows (as well as the ones that have been cancelled – good riddance “Caveman” and “Life is Wild”). It’s certainly incomplete and subject to change, so don’t hold us responsible for any DVR programming mishaps.

You will likely notice a glaring omission from the list. It’s true; the fate of favorite drama “Friday Night Lights” is in the air. There are lots of petitions out there and plans to bombard NBC with footballs, light bulbs, and bottles of Clear Eyes, so join the cause before it’s too late.

“24″, FOX, January 2009
“30 Rock”, NBC, Thursday, April 10, 8:30pm
“Aliens in America”, CW, Sunday, March 2, 8:30pm
“Back to You”, FOX, Wednesday, February 27, 9:30pm
“Big Shots”, ABC, Cancelled
“Bionic Woman”, NBC, Cancelled
“Bones”, FOX, Monday, April 14, 8:00pm
“Boston Legal”, ABC, Tuesday, April 8, 10:00pm
“Brothers and Sisters”, ABC, Sunday, April 20, 10:02pm
“Carpoolers”, ABC, Tuesday, March 4, 9:30pm
“Caveman”, ABC, Cancelled
“Chuck”, NBC, Fall
“Cold Case”, CBS, Sunday, March 30, 9:00pm
“Criminal Minds”, CBS, Wednesday, April 2, 9:00pm
“CSI”, CBS, Thursday, April 3, 9:00pm
“CSI: Miami”, CBS, Monday, March 24, 10:00pm
“CSI: NY”, CBS, Wednesday, April 2, 10:00pm
“Desperate Housewives”, ABC, Sunday, April 13, 9:00pm
“Dirt”, FX, Sunday, March 2, 10:00pm
“Dirty Sexy Money”, ABC, Fall
“ER”, NBC, Thursday, April 10, 10:01pm
“Everybody Hates Chris”, CW, Sunday, March 2, 8:00pm
“Ghost Whisperer”, CBS, Friday, April 4, 8:00pm
“Gossip Girl”, CW, Monday, April 21, 8:00pm
“Greek”, ABC Family, Monday, March 24, 8:00pm
“Grey’s Anatomy”, ABC, Thursday, April 24, 9:00pm
“Heroes”, NBC, Fall
“House”, FOX, Monday, April 28, 9:00pm
“How I Met Your Mother”, CBS, Monday, March 17, 8:30pm
“Journeyman”, NBC, Cancelled
“K-Ville”, FOX, Cancelled
“Las Vegas”, NBC, Cancelled
“Law & Order”, NBC, Wednesday, February 27, 10:00pm
“Law & Order: SVU”, NBC, Tuesday, April 15, 10:00pm
“Life”, NBC, Fall
“Life is Wild”, CW, Cancelled
“Men in Trees”, ABC, Wednesday, February 27, 10:00pm
“Moonlight”, CBS, Friday, April 11, 9:00pm
“My Name is Earl”, NBC, Thursday, April 3, 8:00pm
“NCIS”, CBS, Tuesday, April 8, 8:00pm
“Numb3rs”, CBS, Friday, April 4, 10:00pm
“Private Practice”, ABC, Fall
“Pushing Daisies”, ABC, Fall
“Reaper”, CW, Thursday, March 13, 9:00pm
“Rules of Engagement”, CBS, Monday, April 14, 9:30pm
“Samantha Who?”, ABC, Monday, April 7, 9:30pm
“Scrubs”, NBC, Thursday, April 10, 9:31pm
“Smallville”, CW, Thursday, March 13, 8:00pm
“Supernatural”, CW, Thursday, April 24, 9:00pm
“The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, Monday, March 17, 8:00pm
“The Game”, CW, Sunday, March 23, 9:30pm
“The Office”, NBC, Thursday, April 10, 9:00pm
“The Riches”, FX, Tuesday, March 18, 10:00pm
“Til Death”, FOX, Tuesday, March 25, 9:30pm
“Two and a Half Men”, CBS, Monday, March 17, 9:00pm
“Ugly Betty”, ABC, Thursday, April 24, 8:00pm
“Without a Trace”, CBS, Thursday, April 3, 10:00pm

3 Comments »

The WGA contract expires at midnight, and the possibility of a writers’ strike is high. This will mean no new screenplays or scripted television. You probably won’t notice the effect on movies, as the studios have been stockpiling scripts for months. Television is a different story. Episodes are written only weeks in advance, and writers remain an integral part of the process after scripts are handed over to the director. Unlike movies, writers have to approve all script changes, and many even act as producers. If the strike goes on for more than a week, production on many shows will likely shut down, and scripted programming will be replaced by reality television (partially scripted by non-union writers).

What can you do? Plan ahead. We have a compiled a list of classic TV shows available on DVD that will help fill the void left by your current favorites.

If you’re missing “30 Rock”, check out “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. Long before single working girl and feisty brunette Liz Lemon was contending with divo Tracy Jordan, Mary was battling dim-witted anchorman Ted Baxter. Mary might have thrown a better cocktail party than Lemon, but she was just as likely to burst into tears in her dispassionate boss’s office and laugh through the funeral of a beloved clown. (Seasons 1–4 available)

If you’re lost without “Men in Trees”, rediscover “Northern Exposure”. Like Marin Frist, Dr. Joel Fleishman abandoned New York City to live among the quirky characters of Alaska, who spent more time trading gossip in the local bar than working. And like Marin Frist, Chris Stevens philosophized about life and love over the local airwaves, making us wonder if the cold makes people smarter. (Seasons 1–6 available)

If you can’t get enough of “Smallville”, try “Superboy”. Like the former, the latter chronicled Clark Kent’s early years before he became the Superman of comic books and movies. In this 1988 syndicated series, Clark was a college journalism major who hung out with Lana Lang and fought bad guys like school-mate Lex Luther. (Season 1 available)

If you’re addicted to “Scrubs”, fulfill that need with “M*A*S*H”. Like buddy doctors JD and Turk, Hawkeye and Trapper (or BJ in the later years) balanced childish humor and sex-capades with an excellent bedside manor. And like the doctors at Sacred Heart, the surgeons of the 4077th made you laugh out loud for 20 minutes, yet somehow left you feeling depressed. (Seasons 1–11 available)

If your Thursdays belong to “Ugly Betty”, get “Popular”. Just as “Betty” is a parody of a Spanish soap opera set in the New York fashion world, so too “Popular” is a spoof of night soaps like “Dynasty” set in a public high school. Yet the social commentary is always secondary to the story. Both have bitchy back-stabbing, class struggle (in-vogue vs. ordinary), and hottie nerd Christopher Gorham. (Seasons 1–2 available)

If you’re a “Friday Night Lights” fanatic, give some love to “The White Shadow”. This 1970’s drama starred Ken Howard as an inner city basketball coach, and like Coach Taylor, Coach Reeves helped his young players navigate the choppy waters of adolescence. Unfortunately, “Shadow” is also similar to “Lights” in that despite critical acclaim, it never built much of an audience. (Seasons 1–2 available)

If “The Big Bang Theory” is your cup of tea, satiate your thirst with “Frasier”. Like physics geniuses Leonard and Sheldon, Frasier and Niles were intellectually superior beings that had trouble with normal concepts like ordering coffee. Leonard and Sheldon have Penny forcing them to deal with ordinary people; Frasier and Niles had their father and his dog Eddie. Frasier did better with the women than Leonard, but he was older. Leonard just needs time. (Seasons 1–9 and 11 available - Season 10 will be out on December 11)

If you’re jonesing for “Reaper”, take a hit off “Joan of Arcadia”. Sam is a young snarky slacker, who finds himself following vague and cryptic instructions from Satan to send escaped souls back to hell, thus helping mankind. Joan was a snarky slacker high school student who followed vague and cryptic instructions from God to help mankind. Sam likes a girl named Andi. Joan liked a boy named Adam. It’s all the same. (Seasons 1–2 available)

If you can’t live without “Women’s Murder Club”, look into “Cagney & Lacey”. Mary Beth and Chris were the ones who made female detective shows possible. Sure women had fought crime before, but usually in corsets (“Wonder Woman”) or without bras altogether (“Charlie’s Angels”). Like the women in the “Club”, Cagney and Lacey were real women who talked about love and sex without being sexually exploited. (Season 1 available)

If you’re dying without “Chuck”, let “The Greatest American Hero” save you. Like Chuck, Ralph was an average curly-headed guy from California who suddenly found himself saddled with superpowers (his came in the form of a red suit with no instruction manual). And like “Chuck”, “TGAH” was comprised of more fumbling, crashing, and apologizing than actual crime fighting. (Seasons 1–3 available)

Good luck with the strike, and sorry about the puns!

1 Comment »

Now that the Fall Premiere Challenge is over, we can turn our attention back to all the shows we already love.

Created by two of its stars (Glenn Howerton and Rob McElhenney), “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” has been described as “Seinfeld on crack” (it’s killing me that I didn’t coin this phrase!). The show is back for a third season on F/X, and as a fan since season one, I’m happy to report that it hasn’t lost any of its hilarious offensiveness, and the characters are still warped, egotistical, and f#*&ed up.

Charlie (Charlie Day), Mac (Rob McElhenney), and twin brother/sister Dennis (Glenn Howerton) and Sweet Dee (Kaitlin Olson) run “Paddy’s Pub” in Philadelphia. Danny DeVito joined the cast in season two as Dennis and Dee’s father, and he’s back in fine form playing the type of character he does best - selfish, annoying, and rude. Each episode revolves around them getting into unusual or ridiculous situations, usually sparked by a challenge, a hair-brained scheme, or an egotistical dream. The series deals with important and controversial topics (abortion, racism, gay rights) just not in a “very special episode” kind of way. More like a “how can we exploit this to our benefit?” kind of way.

Aside from the enjoyment I get from watching this show, I love that Howerton and McElhenney created this show with practically no budget and sold the pilot to F/X. It makes me root for them to succeed, and I really get the feeling their writing sessions are just them sitting around trying to make each other laugh. Luckily, we get to be in on the joke.

If you like episode titles such as “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby” or “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person”; well-paced, funny writing; and characters whose only redeeming quality is that they are hilarious, then watch “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, and catch up with seasons 1 and 2 now on DVD.

New episodes of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” air on Thursdays at 10pm on F/X.

Comments Off

Welcome to the post you’ve all been waiting for, the ninth and final part of the Fall Premiere Challenge. Before we announce the six winning series, we have some business to wrap up.

First, we have a couple of updates. There continues to be little activity from the networks in the form of pick-ups and cancellations; perhaps they’re waiting to find out whether they’ll have a writers strike to contend with come November 1st. However, CBS did pick up “The Big Bang Theory” this week. This show has successfully built on “How I Met Your Mother”’s audience (the show that airs before it), so it has been rewarded with a full season order.

CSB has also made the first cut of the season. Fear not, it’s none of our favorites. Last Thursday “Viva Laughlin” premiered with a follow-up episode airing on Sunday. The ratings were abysmal and rightfully so. This show doesn’t simply feature musical numbers, but they consist of the actors (including Hugh Jackman) singing over original recordings of songs like “Viva Las Vegas” and Blondie’s “One Way or Another”. It feels like an elementary school production. Add an unlikable group of characters and a weak plotline, and you’ve got a guaranteed flop. Thankfully I learned of the show’s cancellation before I made it through the second episode. Good riddance.

We also have two outstanding shows for which we need final scores.

Pushing Daisies (ABC) – This fairytale on speed continues to entice its audience with apple pies with gruyere baked into the crust, sword fights, and plastic-wrapped kisses. If you’re a lover of desserts, this show is not to be missed. First Week’s Score: 9. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 8. Final Total: 25

Life is Wild (CW) – This show is fantastic! Just kidding. It still sucks. First Week’s Score: 5. Last Week’s Score: 5. Score: 5. Final Total: 15

So without any further exposure to bad television, I give you the winners of the Fall Premiere Challenge.

Reaper (25) – Tuesdays at 9pm on the CW
Pushing Daisies (25) – Wednesdays at 8pm on ABC
Dirty Sexy Money (24) – Wednesdays at 10pm on ABC
Life (23) – Wednesdays at 10pm on NBC
Gossip Girl (22) – Wednesdays at 9pm on the CW
Big Shots (22) – Thursdays at 10pm on ABC

We’ve also selected four series to place “on the bench” (like Landry Clarke). We took both final scores and overall improvement into consideration when choosing these runners-up. They are “Back to You”, “Chuck”, “The Big Bang Theory”, and “Women’s Murder Club”.

We’d like to thank everyone for their comments. Hopefully these six shows will continue to deliver.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

1 Comment »

Let’s begin this penultimate edition of the Fall Premiere Challenge with a bit of good news. On Tuesday, our top scoring show “Reaper” posted a gigantic 25% increase in household ratings, resulting in the largest audience in the 18–49 range to date for the CW.

And now the bad news…

Life is Wild (CW) – I hope children do watch this show. Oblivious to the bad acting and clichéd script, they may pick up a couple of phrases in Zulu or learn some interesting facts about African animals. Adults, on the other hand, tend to be more discerning, so they may want to learn about South Africa some other way. Last Week’s Score: 5. Score: 5

The three shows below can be summed up together: they’re more painful than funny, so don’t waste your time or brain cells.
Aliens in America (CW) – First Week’s Score: 4. Last Week’s Score: 4. Score: 3. Final Total: 11
Cavemen (ABC) – First Week’s Score: 3. Last Week’s Score: 2. Score: 2. Final Total: 7
Carpoolers (ABC) – First Week’s Score: 3. Last Week’s Score: 3. Score: 3. Final Total: 9

Because the four series scheduled for this edition of the Fall Premiere Challenge are so lame, we decided to look at a couple of shows that started too late to be included in the competition. While, at this time, they’re ineligible for the Primetime Index, if they’re good enough, we’ll place them on deck with some of the shows that just missed the top six. In the inevitable case that some of our favorite get canceled, these standbys will be called up to the Index.

Women’s Murder Club (ABC) – Based on a series of books by James Patterson, this show is not, as it may sound, about a pack of homicidal females, but rather involves a detective, a DA, a medical examiner, and a reporter (yes, all women) who work unofficially as a team to solve murders. It isn’t ground-breaking, but it’s fairly entertaining television. Of course, it airs opposite “Friday Night Lights”, so if you watch it, do so by DVR or download. Score: 7

Samantha Who? (ABC) – This is the latest vehicle for the underrated Christina Applegate. Samantha (Applegate) wakes up from a coma with her memory erased. As she becomes acquainted with her life, she discovers she wasn’t a very nice person. Perhaps they had too much information to get out in a half hour, but this pilot episode feels forced. Still, with a stellar supporting cast that includes Jean Smart (“Designing Women”), Jennifer Esposito (“Spin City”), and, my favorite, Melissa McCarty (“Gilmore Girls), it could prove to be a solid sitcom. Don’t forget, “30 Rock” had a disappointing first two episodes. Score: 6

Join us on Sunday night when we’ll post the final part of the Fall Premiere Challenge and announce this year’s official list of shows on the Primetime Index.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

Comments Off

Over here tensions are high as we wait for the networks to make their decisions about the new fall shows. So far not a single one has been canceled. Last year the first series to go was the Ray Liotta vehicle “Smith”, which was axed after three episodes. Many of the new shows have had three or more airings, so it could happen at anytime. Also, only one scripted series has been picked up. On Tuesday, the CW ordered a full season of “Gossip Girl” (“Heroes” was first last year). Of course, cancellations and pick-ups are based on ratings not quality. Still we hope this year the ratings are determined by the quality…but we doubt it.

Bionic Woman (NBC) – Remember two weeks ago when I said the premise of the show was plausible – that within the boundaries of this sci-fi world, the technology was believable? That’s over. We discover this week that not only have they installed GPS in Jaime (not likely), but they’ve implanted a video camera in her brain that records everything she sees (unbelievable). She can turn it off – hack herself, as she calls it – simply by imagining doing so (really unbelievable). However, this makes her right nostril bleed (I guess that could happen). First Week’s Score: 7. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 6. Final Total: 20

Pushing Daisies (ABC) – Overall, this second episode lives up to the magical promise of the first. The vibrant over-the-top art direction translates into girls dressed as dandelions and a murderer disguised as a day-glo orange crash test dummy. However, I’m not sure about Olive’s musical number. I guess I should have seen it coming considering the character is played by Broadway diva-lette Kristin Chenoweth. Last Week’s Score: 9. Score: 8

Private Practice (ABC) – Now if Kristin is breaking into song (see above), how long will it be before Audra McDonald and Taye Diggs perform a show-stopping duet? This series already has the spunk and dysfunction of “Ally McBeal”. Why not add the after-work piano bar, and we can find out if Tim Daly sings as well as his sister. It would add up to more compelling television than what they’ve got going on now. First Week’s Score: 6. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 6. Final Total: 18

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) – I’ve seen the dirty, and I’ve seen the money. Bring on the sexy! First Week’s Score: 8. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 8. Final Total: 24

Life (NBC) – Banter is big this fall. Doctors, detectives, magnates, and superheroes alike are brandishing their most dangerous weapon, a razor sharp wit. The repartee between Charlie Crews and his pint-size partner Dani Reese on this dramatic series is among the best and is as brisk and comical as that of the doctors at Seattle Grace. First Week’s Score: 8. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 7. Final Total: 23

Big Shots (ABC) – Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the evolved male, but these guys talk about their feelings way too much. At least they’re aware of it. First Week’s Score: 8. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 7. Final Total: 22

Moonlight (CBS) – Congratulate me. I never have to endure the horrendous acting of this show again. Woo hoo! Yea! First Week’s Score: 4. Last Week’s Score: 5. Score: 5. Final Total: 14

If you’ve been keeping track (and I know you have), there are seven shows that have received a total score of 21 or greater. We are picking the top six shows (there’s currently a tie for sixth place), which means any show having earned less than 21 is no longer in the running. This means “K-Ville”, “Chuck”, “The Big Bang Theory”, “Journeyman”, “Bionic Woman”, and, of course “Moonlight” won’t be part of the Primetime Index. “Aliens in America”, “Cavemen”, and “Carpoolers” are also out of the running, because they have no chance of catching up.

Check in Wednesday, when we’ll find out if “Life is Wild” has a shot in hell.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

Comments Off

Carlos Santana’s second career in collaborations has been longer than most rock stars’ first, and for his latest “Into the Night”, he teams up with Nickelback’s Chad Kroger. But more importantly, the video stars both a new Hero (although her power is questionable), Dania Ramirez, who plays Maya, and long-time TV regular Freddy Rodriguez. Freddy starred on “Six Feet Under” as Federico, he frequently guests on “Scrubs” as Carla’s devious brother, and now he’s landed himself a role on “Ugly Betty” (watch it Henry!) “Into the Night” isn’t a great song, but we always support the trend of casting television stars in music videos, so check it out.

Comments Off

Welcome to Part 6 of the Fall Premiere Challenge. I’d hoped things would be looking up by now, but with only one notably geeky exception, the numbers are sliding. I can’t wait to get back to my old favorites like “Heroes”, “Ugly Betty”, and “Friday Night Lights” (subtle hint – START WATCHING “FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS” BEFORE THEY CANCEL IT AND RUIN MY LIFE!), but for now let’s check in with the new shows.

Life is Wild (CW) – This drama is no doubt the CW’s attempt at replacing the long-running “7th Heaven”. In an extreme effort to unite his family, a veterinarian from NYC moves his new wife and their four children (a modified “Brady Bunch”) to South Africa. However, this is no Poisonwood Bible. With plenty of teenagers around for romance and jealousy, “Life is Wild” is a typical teen show, but not a good one. Still the frequent footage of giraffes, elephants, and baby lions not only creates a family-friendly innocence, it also provides a break from the awkward acting and forced plot. Score: 5

Aliens in America (CW) – Scott Patterson had signed a contract with the CW that lasted through an eighth season of “Gilmore Girls”, so when the show was canceled after only seven, the network booted the actor originally slated to play the father on “Aliens in America” and literally spliced in the ex-Luke Danes. This explains why he seems so uncomfortable and completely beyond the second-rate sitcom. Last Week’s Score: 4. Score: 4

Chuck (NBC) – We already know there’s an inherent problem with this show – what happens when Chuck’s intelligence data becomes outdated. But surely they can work around that. After all, they managed to re-maroon the castaways on “Gilligan’s Island”. The real problem is the romance conundrum. How long until Chuck gets the girl, and how long after that until the show self-destructs (“Moonlighting”, “Scarecrow and Mrs. King”)? Or he never gets the girl and the show gets frustrating and self-destructs (“Remington Steele”, “X-Files”). Still “Chuck” is kind of fun, so we can enjoy the ride down. First Week’s Score: 6. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 7. Final Total: 20

The Big Bang Theory (CBS) – Perhaps I’m betraying my own geek tendencies, but this show, the same one I predicted would receive the first axing of the season, has won me over. No, it’s not because these guys are a lot like most of the people I hang out with. It’s because the show has revealed its heart, and I find myself hoping this nerd will get the girl. First Week’s Score: 5. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 8. Final Total: 19

Journeyman (NBC) – The missions are fairly fool-proof, and the only special talent our hero possesses is the ability to remain dressed at all times. First Week’s Score: 7. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 6. Final Total: 19

Cavemen (ABC) – I know it’s a bad sign when I stare at the television, my mouth agape, hoping it will end soon, before someone gets hurt. While the Geico commercials made prejudice against the fictional cavemen ironic, this show makes it seem like a metaphor for racism and appears to suggest minorities overreact to discrimination. Please, ABC, get this show off the air. I give it 1 point for make-up and one for “Ugly Betty”’s Octavia Spencer as the mailman. Last Week’s Score: 3. Score: 2

Carpoolers (ABC) – Let me quote this week’s episode. Aubrey: “I turn down the sound on the TV, and I make up funny stuff for the people to say.” So you see the problem here – the writers think it’s the audience’s job to create the comedy. Last Week’s Score: 3. Score: 3

Reaper (CW) – The books are wrong; this Devil is really a nice guy. He only makes Sam send the really evil escaped souls back to hell. Plus he’s helping him get the girl (yes that’s the third time I’ve used that phrase, but some plot points are standard fare in TV) by shutting down the building, so she can’t go back to college. I’m looking forward to some really touching father figure moments later in the season. First Week’s Score: 9. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 8. Final Total: 25

Cane (CBS) – This show is missing one vital element – a likable character to whom I can set my moral compass. I’d be rooting for the family’s arch enemies the Samuels if I didn’t think that would make Frank Duque happy. Usually all this murder and deceit would be entertaining, but truthfully Jimmy Smits’ menacing stares are getting boring. First Week’s Score: 7. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 6. Final Total: 21

On Sunday we’ll get final scores for six shows, including “Private Practice”, “Dirty Sexy Money”, and “Life”.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

Comments Off

Welcome to Part 5 of our 9 part series. This is the halfway point. Let’s see how the shows are doing.

Pushing Daisies (ABC) – This highly stylized drama about a pie-maker who brings people back to life by touching them is the first show this season that seems to be pushing the art of television forward. The pilot is a vibrant cinematic confection reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands. How they plan on maintaining such quality week after week is a mystery (who could forget the letdown after “Studio 60”’s amazing pilot last year). Still, this episode is one everyone should check out. Score: 9

Back to You (Fox) – We’ve seen some bad comedies over the past few weeks. The writers are so bent on being funny every second, there isn’t much of a story. However, the sitcom veterans at “Back to You” know if they concentrate on telling a good story, they can relax a bit and let the funny happen naturally. First Week’s Score: 7. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 8. Final Total: 21

Private Practice (ABC) – If we’re dealing with switched-at-birth babies and a sweet old lady poisoning her alcoholic son in the second episode, what kind of movie-of-the-week drama are they planning for sweeps? Wake me up when Addison stops flirting with the Tim Daly character and starts sleeping with the boy-toy midwife. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 6

Bionic Woman (NBC) – The arrival of infamous homophobe Isaiah Washington both helps and hurts this sci-fi drama. Washington is at once distracting, forcing your mind away from the action and onto the ethical implications of his presence, and captivating as his superior talent raises the overall quality of the show. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 7

Gossip Girl (CW) – At last, a show bravely exposes the outrageous pressure on private school students to go to the same Ivy League schools as their fathers. It’s no wonder they drink so much. First Week’s Score: 7. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 8. Final Total: 22

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) – After years of success in the movies, the affable transvestite is finally finding success on the small screen. My favorite (not played by a former supermodel, of course) is Candis Cayne as Carmelita, Billy Baldwin’s secret lover. Sorry, Dontelle. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 8

Life (NBC) – If you were destroyed when Shane left Carmen at the alter - and if you spent the next eighteen months pissed that Sarah Shahi left “The L Word” for “Teachers”, a sitcom that lasted six episodes - you’ll be ecstatic to learn that Shahi is not only one of the stars of this solid crime drama, but she’s a large part of makes it so good. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 8

Big Shots (ABC) – Fortunately the unbelievable and annoying story about Karl’s mistress befriending his wife is only a small portion of the show. I’ll look past it for the sensitive and bruised James and the chipper and newly waxed Brody…for now. Last Week’s Score: 8. Score: 7

Moonlight (CBS) – This vampire can go out during the day, he can have his picture takes digitally, and he has a real issue with murderers. Someone explain to me why they bothered to make him a vampire at all. They should have just made him an ex-con like the rest of the new detective shows. Last Week’s Score: 4. Score: 5

On Wednesday we’ll take a look at the CW’s new dramedy “Life is Wild”. We’ll also reveal the final scores of five shows, including “Reaper” and “Cane”.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

3 Comments »

All the network executives are sitting around this week scratching their heads, perplexed as to why their new shows’ ratings are so low. Well, beyond the obvious reason of increased use of DVR’s and downloading, there’s another really good explanation: the shows just aren’t very good. Last year we were blessed with so many great new series – “Heroes”, “Ugly Betty”, “30 Rock”, etc. – that I became convinced television as an art was moving forward, but it seems last year’s surfeit was an anomaly. To be fair, I have liked some of the new shows, and a few haven’t yet aired, but if the list below is an indication of the overall trend of television, I might actually spend some nights out reconnecting with friends this fall.

Aliens in America (CW) - Ultimately this show feels like propaganda. “Oh, you closed-minded Americans with your fear of dirty bombs and Anthrax, the truth is Middle Eastern kids are just like your kids. No, they’re better. Even if they do dress and pray funny. Ha ha.” It’s not unlike when Mr. Drummond brought that wacky Arnold home. Score: 4

The Big Bang Theory (CBS) – The odd thing about this show is it either hits, and I actually laugh out loud (rare for me), or it completely misses, and I end up feeling kind of embarrassed for them. If the writers stop trying to cram so many jokes into each scene, they might have something, because I actually like the characters. Of course I’m a sucker for Star Wars and superhero humor. Last Week’s Score: 5. Score: 6

Chuck (NBC) – Chuck, you’re very clever, trying to win us over with talk of Oceanic Flight 815. Just remember this: we were already hooked on “Lost” when we found out the plot didn’t make any sense. You revealed this about yourself in the first two episodes. Still, increased use of “Firefly’s” Adam Baldwin wins you an extra point this week. Last Week’s Score: 6. Score: 7

Journeyman (NBC) – This show belongs on CBS on Friday nights. In the tradition of “Early Edition” and “Joan of Arcadia” (yet not nearly as good as either), “Journeyman” is less about time travel and more about human redemption. An inverted It’s a Wonderful Life, our lead is the unwitting angel guided by the fates to right some wrong in the universe. Yet somehow “feel-good” doesn’t work on Mondays. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 6

K-Ville (Fox) – During this week’s episode, a perp refers to our NOPD partners as Crockett and Tubbs. This is supposed to be ironic. Boulet and Cobb are scrappy, certainly not glamorous. Yet this show with its melodrama and its law enforcement clichés feels a lot more like “Miami Vice” – maybe even “CHIPS” – than “NYPD Blue”. First Week’s Score: 6. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 6. Final Total: 19

Cavemen (ABC) – I know you’ve all been asking yourselves since Sunday, what was the other show based on a commercial. It was 2002’s “Baby Bob”, based on the talking six-month-old from the dotcom (and later Quiznos) commercials. It was cancelled after nine episodes. It was better than “Cavemen”. Score: 3

Carpoolers (ABC) – Jerry O’Connell has for years been an inspiration to all men who were once the fat kid in school (although his fat was very different from today’s fat). He got tall, exercised his way into a Chip ‘n Dale body, and married a supermodel/X-Man. Unfortunately his involvement with this dated and somewhat offensive comedy (to use the word lightly) is likely to negate these achievements. Score: 3

Reaper (CW) – I was concerned that without Kevin Smith in the director’s chair, this show might lose some of its edge, but I needn’t have worried. Of course, the newness and wonder of the relationship has faded a bit, so it naturally loses a point this week, but if they can keep it up, I’m certain “Reaper” will have lots of chances to earn 9’s in the future on the Primetime Index. Last Week’s Score: 9. Score: 8

Cane (CBS) – If I get hooked on this show, it’ll like be due to “Lost’s” Nestor Carbonell. There’s something intriguing about him, and I’m not just talking about the natural eyeliner. Still I wouldn’t underestimate the fascination of alligators fighting over a rotting corpse in a Florida swamp. Perhaps this is where people will go from now on for their gangster TV fix. Last Week’s Score: 7. Score: 8

On Sunday we’ll take a look at the eagerly anticipated “Pushing Daisies”, our last hope for a break-out hit.

If you’re interested in watching any of the shows you missed, most are available for download on iTunes. You can also check out the shows’ websites. Many of them stream episodes for free.

5 Comments »